I have a confession to make.

I used to laugh at people who wanted to manifest a soulmate. Despite the fact that I spent most of my early twenties desperately looking for love in all the wrong places, I pretended I was way too cool to want to have a soulmate.

Of course, I wasn’t. Of course, despite the show I put on about learning to love myself and being okay being single, I wasn’t. And, to be honest, every day that went by with me not yet having met my soulmate was kinda, sorta lonely just a little bit.

It didn’t take long for him to show up. And we didn’t have to move mountains to find each other and decide we were going to be together. And, to be honest, it wasn’t that hard. Sure, there were bumps along the way. We’ve had fights, big and small. And we’ve gone through points in our relationship where we questioned if we could continue.

But most of the time, it is time spent well with each other, loving each other, appreciating each other, and just naturally pulling each other up as we continuously work on stepping more into who we truly are as individuals.

What it took me to get to here is going to be the same thing that gets you to where you want to go. First, you have to be okay with wanting to have a soulmate. Next, you have to experience what it’s like to already be with your soulmate. And third, keep savoring that experience until you no longer want to.

Let’s break things down a little bit.

Be okay with wanting.

Soulmates have gotten a bad rap. Many people have associated all sorts of crazy things about soulmates. There’s the idea, for example, that you only have one soulmate for many lifetimes. And if you don’t find him, you’re going to be lonely forever.

And then on the other hand, there’s this entirely cynical idea that there’s no such thing as soulmates, or true love, or connections beyond the physical. This idea is perpetrated by people who have been burned by love one too many times. They’re too hurt to be able to entertain the idea that something you only see in the movies can actually be true.

Mostly, though, your soulmate is simply who you want them to be. Maybe your soulmate is the one who’s gonna sweep you off your feet and ride off with you into the sunset on a white horse. Or maybe your soulmate is the one who chooses to stay with you through the dark days and the happy days.

You get to choose. You get to decide. You get to be the one calling the shots. This is your desire, after all. And the way it shows up in your world is your manifestation.

And that means you don’t have to conform to a societal, cultural, or religious standard of what soulmates are like and how having them around is supposed to feel. It can be warm and tender or it can be hot and exhilarating. Or it can be a combination of both. You decide. It’s your life. It’s you who gets to live with and within your creations. The only condition? You have to be totally honest with yourself about what you really want. That will save you from a lot of heartbreak down the line. 

Experience what it’s like.

What does it feel like to already be with your soulmate? Don’t simply go for boilerplate feelings here. You need to fully be in the experience of being with your soulmate.

Why? Because the brain can’t distinguish between an experience that’s felt in the actual physical world and one that takes place in your head. And once the brain experiences something, it’ll put out all the stops to bring life to that experience in the tangible realm.

So choose one scene, one experience that you get to have to imply that you’re already with your soulmate. It doesn’t need to be elaborate. In fact, the shorter, the better. If you can distill the experience into a single point in time and space, then you won’t have much to do but simply to experience.

What would imply that you’re already with your soulmate? Perhaps it could be the feel of his arms around you while falling asleep. Or it could be the smell of his newly laundered shirt. Or it could be the feeling of cold metal around your finger to imply that you have tied the knot with your soulmate. Put yourself in that moment and notice the sensations, the feelings, and the emotions that are there.

That’s it. That’s all you need to do. You only need to feel that you already are someone who’s happily with your soulmate. You can spend hours doing this. But you don’t need to. You can do this for only a few seconds, in fact. It’s not the length of time that matters. It’s how convinced you are that you have already experienced your desire.

Savor the experience.

Once you’ve convinced yourself that you’ve already experienced your desire, you don’t need to do anything else. You can only go about your everyday life trusting in the imaginal experience. You don’t have to do anything else, except to notice the changes that have taken place as a result of your experience.

Maybe you feel calmer. Maybe you feel less needy. Maybe you even feel like you’re no longer looking for your soulmate since he’s already there. Maybe you feel a nudge to walk down a different street the next day. Or maybe you don’t feel anything at all.

Just because your soulmate doesn’t immediately turn up at your doorstep with a bunch of flowers and a thousand apologies for not having showed up sooner doesn’t mean nothing has happened.

It’s your imaginal experience that gets things moving, but you have to notice what things are moving differently than before. And the more you simply notice, the faster the ball rolls for you. Do not let yourself be distracted by outside circumstances. Ignore them. Turn your back on them. Realize that these circumstances don’t actually have any meaning beyond what you give to them. 

These physical circumstances don’t really matter, to be honest, because they are simply shadows of earlier imaginal experiences you’ve had. Now that you’ve imagined a new experience, you’ve brought to life a new reality — one that you have to keep bringing life to until you decide it’s no longer what you want. 

That’s all you need to do to consciously manifest your soulmate. In fact, if you look at it closely, that’s what you’ve been doing manifesting your entire life up to this moment. And if you want to manifest many other things — and I’m sure you do — that’s the same thing you need to do. Notice your desire, experience it in your imagination, and know that your experience is real.